-one minute he is smiling, the next he's screaming
-he asks for milk, when you give him milk, he wants water
-his beverages are never served in the correct container (sippy cup vs. cup)
-you eat dinner one handed because he thinks your lap is better than his chair
-he doesn't like what's served so dad fixes him an egg and dinner is eaten in shifts
-he takes a drink of water and you don't even flinch when you realize you have a wet crotch and can feel the water soaking into your underwear
-you find yourself taking deep breaths often at the dinner table
-the dinner dishes don't get taken care of till after bedtime
-you've been hit by a spoon, golf club and hand in a short amount of time because he can't go outside
-back outside you play golf with wet underwear and don't even care
-find yourself as dirty as the kid and need a shower too
-you leave him alone in the bathroom to return and see him rinsing dad's toothbrush in the toilet
-he says 'wuv you' and blows you a kiss goodnight as if nothing happened 2 hours earlier.